Singles Awareness Day

Yesterday, lucky women all over the country were showered with beautiful bouquets, the finest chocolates, flashy jewelry, and sappy cards. A few of the really lucky ones even received diamonds, which we all know are a girl's best friend (especially when that diamond is larger than a karat and presented by a man on one knee).

It's no secret that Valentine's Day is woman's holiday. Women crave that kind of special treatment in a relationship, while men generally consider this holiday one big ridiculous marketing ploy. Truth be told, I can't really disagree with them, but I won't go there now. And anyway, it doesn't change the fact that every year on February 13, every girl who is single in America is biting her nails and secretly hoping that some prince charming reveals himself by having flowers sent to her at work.

Some women like being single. We find it liberating. It makes us feel independent. We hear our friends arguing with their boyfriends or husbands, and we thank God that we aren't subjected to that torture. We're proud to be single.

...but we still hate being alone on Valentine's Day.

Suddenly, you're living in a world where it's not normal to be single. You're in a world where people feel sorry for you. You get flowers from your parents with a note that says "you're still beautiful to me," as if you're some sort of ugly duckling charity case. They start giving your younger sibblings pep talks about how they're counting on them to carry on the family name, since clearly you are never going to start a family.

It's never a choice to be alone on Valentine's Day. At least not for women.

Men consider themselves lucky if they're alone on Valentine's Day, while it's really a life-changing tragedy for women. I have to hand it to the men on this one though. I mean, what is it really saying for our significant others if the only time they ever pronounce their love for us is when some bogus holiday suggests they have to? I like the idea of the celebration of love, I really do. I just think more people are forced to fake love on this day than to act on pure intentions.

Who could blame a guy for grabbing the first box of chocolates he finds? It may also be the last. Between the overpriced merchandise and mile-long check-out lines, it's no wonder men hate this day. He knows that the woman he loves is waiting at home with her arms out, waiting to be presented with lavish gifts. Who can perform under that kind of pressure?

It's too fake. It's too forced. If you love someone, you'll spoil them all the time. Your heart won't allow you to do anything else. Trust me--I know. When you love someone, you'll want to do so much for them that you have to remind yourself to make time for you. It's effortless to love someone. It isn't effortless to fake love though.

That's why I loathe hearing couples say "We never fight." If you never fight, somebody's being fake. I happen to think it's impossible to agree on everything, and quite frankly, I think it's unhealthy. God made no two people exactly the same, so if they're agreeing on everything, one of them is compromising their own beliefs.

These couples are easy to spot too. The guy usually does all of the talking, and the girl usually speaks to back him up. She'd never make any outrageous claims unless she knew it was one her boyfriend supported. It's frustrating to talk to these girls. You know there is no changing their minds, and there is no talking on topics that aren't boyfriend-approved.

We get so caught up in the idea of being in love that we become desperate to make it work at any cost. But is it worth our personality? Our values? Where does it end? Do we toss God out the window if they ask us to?

When we fake our way through relationships, we get further and further away from God's will for our lives. We begin to lose pieces of ourselves that makes us the unique servant God called us to be. Eventually, we begin to realize that in chasing love without trusting God, our life has lost all meaning.

For me, this is an area that's been difficult to trust God with. I know He is in control. I know He knows what I need, and I know that He has a plan for me. I know all of this from the bottom of my heart, and I believe it. Still, sometimes when I'm praying, I cringe when I give it ALL to God. Sometimes, I want to say "God, I know you've got a plan for me, but I really need some closure with..." or "I don't think I'll ever be able to love anyone else with that same compassion..." and I have to remind myself to "be still and know that [He is] God" (Psalms 46:10).

There's no justifying it. God knows who you are. If you're trying to convince Him of something that He doesn't believe is good for your life, it's a losing battle. You may as well surrender now.

Spending one holiday alone isn't near as depressing as the thought of spending every day for the rest of eternity with someone who doesn't make parts of your heart and your mind come alive that you never knew existed. Remember the first time you had your heart broken? You never thought you'd recover, and you did. Our mind can't comprehend our heart's capacity to love. Only God can do that. You may as well leave that to the experts.

If you spent Valentines Day alone this year, consider yourself lucky. You still have so much to look forward to. You can still anticipate the day that you meet the man of your dreams, and the day that you realize how much better off you are for trusting God to lead you to the right person. You'll be so thankful you didn't trust yourself years ago when you thought you could never love anyone else like you love ____. So if you're single, rejoice in the love that God is going to pour into your life. Be happy that you were able to celebrate Singles Awareness Day.

Technically, you're not alone this year though. God is with you in spirit, and He loves us more than any human ever will.

Happy Valentines Day to those who are in love.
Happy Singles Awareness Day to those who aren't.
Whichever one you are, thank God for placing you exactly where you need to be!