Changed for Good

Finally got to see "Wicked" tonight. What an amazing illustration of how easily we are misunderstood. I'll spare the details for the sake of those who haven't had an opportunity to see the show yet (which I highly recommend, by the way). I'll just say that I was shocked at how perfectly it reiterated some of the very thoughts that have been weighing heavily on my heart lately, particularly in regards to the mistreatment of others.

A few weeks ago, one of my co-workers told me that she was going to need some time off on short notice. I was annoyed with her for not being more responsible and considerate, and I made a few jabs at her, both directly and indirectly. I wanted it to be very clear that I was not happy about having to pick up her slack. She didn't acknowledge the comments, although I feel sure that she picked up on them. Several days later, I found out from another co-worker that the reason she needed to be off was because her 19-year-old brother had been involved in an unfortunate accident in which he lost his life, and she was partly responsible for making arrangements.

I don't know why she hadn't explained that to me in the first place, but it quickly changed things, needless to say. I have an 18-year-old brother of my own. He is one of my closest friends, and I cannot imagine life without him (or my sister, for that matter). It broke my heart to think of the pain she must be feeling. I called her into the office where I was working and personally apologized. She thankfully accepted and I could see tears welling up as she told me how much she missed him. My heart ached for her as I tried to imagine going on with my life after losing a close family member. A genuine, hopeful smile spread across her face as she said "I know it'll all be okay though on that day when we see eachother again."

It made my problems seem so small. Had I known what was going on in her life from the beginning, I would have been able to handle the situation with the type of care and attention that it required. Suddenly, I felt like the inconsiderate one.

It got me thinking...how many other times had I been rude to people who didn't need or deserve it? After all, I've copped an attitude with a lot of people. A lot. Working at a grocery store, I was always angry with the people who were receiving food benefits (that's an issue to be addressed a different day). Working with children, I'm always angry with irresponsible parents. Writing for a magazine, I'm always frustrated with editors with impossible deadlines. What if one of those people has been going through some life crisis? What kind of image of Christ am I creating for these people? I am labeling myself as a Christian, and I am kicking them when they're down. This is not how Christ told us to treat our neighbors.

We all have bad days once in a while. Fortunately, all of the bad things that have happened to me have been relatively minor. I'm lucky. Still, when I'm stressed about getting my bills paid or I'm frustrated because I've gained weight or I'm tired because I was up all night with a virus, the last thing I want is someone calling me a screw-up. That's when I want to be "babied" the most. That's when I need someone to offer me a hand, to show me Christ-like love.

I'm beginning to have trouble keeping my eyes open, so I'll stop here for tonight. I had other points, but I'll save them for later. My goal for tomorrow: put others before myself.