Yesterday, lucky women all over the country were showered with beautiful bouquets, the finest chocolates, flashy jewelry, and sappy cards. A few of the really lucky ones even received diamonds, which we all know are a girl's best friend (especially when that diamond is larger than a karat and presented by a man on one knee).
It's no secret that Valentine's Day is woman's holiday. Women crave that kind of special treatment in a relationship, while men generally consider this holiday one big ridiculous marketing ploy. Truth be told, I can't really disagree with them, but I won't go there now. And anyway, it doesn't change the fact that every year on February 13, every girl who is single in America is biting her nails and secretly hoping that some prince charming reveals himself by having flowers sent to her at work.
Some women like being single. We find it liberating. It makes us feel independent. We hear our friends arguing with their boyfriends or husbands, and we thank God that we aren't subjected to that torture. We're proud to be single.
...but we still hate being alone on Valentine's Day.
Suddenly, you're living in a world where it's not normal to be single. You're in a world where people feel sorry for you. You get flowers from your parents with a note that says "you're still beautiful to me," as if you're some sort of ugly duckling charity case. They start giving your younger sibblings pep talks about how they're counting on them to carry on the family name, since clearly you are never going to start a family.
It's never a choice to be alone on Valentine's Day. At least not for women.
Men consider themselves lucky if they're alone on Valentine's Day, while it's really a life-changing tragedy for women. I have to hand it to the men on this one though. I mean, what is it really saying for our significant others if the only time they ever pronounce their love for us is when some bogus holiday suggests they have to? I like the idea of the celebration of love, I really do. I just think more people are forced to fake love on this day than to act on pure intentions.
Who could blame a guy for grabbing the first box of chocolates he finds? It may also be the last. Between the overpriced merchandise and mile-long check-out lines, it's no wonder men hate this day. He knows that the woman he loves is waiting at home with her arms out, waiting to be presented with lavish gifts. Who can perform under that kind of pressure?
It's too fake. It's too forced. If you love someone, you'll spoil them all the time. Your heart won't allow you to do anything else. Trust me--I know. When you love someone, you'll want to do so much for them that you have to remind yourself to make time for you. It's effortless to love someone. It isn't effortless to fake love though.
That's why I loathe hearing couples say "We never fight." If you never fight, somebody's being fake. I happen to think it's impossible to agree on everything, and quite frankly, I think it's unhealthy. God made no two people exactly the same, so if they're agreeing on everything, one of them is compromising their own beliefs.
These couples are easy to spot too. The guy usually does all of the talking, and the girl usually speaks to back him up. She'd never make any outrageous claims unless she knew it was one her boyfriend supported. It's frustrating to talk to these girls. You know there is no changing their minds, and there is no talking on topics that aren't boyfriend-approved.
We get so caught up in the idea of being in love that we become desperate to make it work at any cost. But is it worth our personality? Our values? Where does it end? Do we toss God out the window if they ask us to?
When we fake our way through relationships, we get further and further away from God's will for our lives. We begin to lose pieces of ourselves that makes us the unique servant God called us to be. Eventually, we begin to realize that in chasing love without trusting God, our life has lost all meaning.
For me, this is an area that's been difficult to trust God with. I know He is in control. I know He knows what I need, and I know that He has a plan for me. I know all of this from the bottom of my heart, and I believe it. Still, sometimes when I'm praying, I cringe when I give it ALL to God. Sometimes, I want to say "God, I know you've got a plan for me, but I really need some closure with..." or "I don't think I'll ever be able to love anyone else with that same compassion..." and I have to remind myself to "be still and know that [He is] God" (Psalms 46:10).
There's no justifying it. God knows who you are. If you're trying to convince Him of something that He doesn't believe is good for your life, it's a losing battle. You may as well surrender now.
Spending one holiday alone isn't near as depressing as the thought of spending every day for the rest of eternity with someone who doesn't make parts of your heart and your mind come alive that you never knew existed. Remember the first time you had your heart broken? You never thought you'd recover, and you did. Our mind can't comprehend our heart's capacity to love. Only God can do that. You may as well leave that to the experts.
If you spent Valentines Day alone this year, consider yourself lucky. You still have so much to look forward to. You can still anticipate the day that you meet the man of your dreams, and the day that you realize how much better off you are for trusting God to lead you to the right person. You'll be so thankful you didn't trust yourself years ago when you thought you could never love anyone else like you love ____. So if you're single, rejoice in the love that God is going to pour into your life. Be happy that you were able to celebrate Singles Awareness Day.
Technically, you're not alone this year though. God is with you in spirit, and He loves us more than any human ever will.
Happy Valentines Day to those who are in love.
Happy Singles Awareness Day to those who aren't.
Whichever one you are, thank God for placing you exactly where you need to be!
Monday, February 15, 2010
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Snowed In, Twenty-Ten
Snowed out, actually.
The flurries started here around lunch time yesterday, and by 5, the ground was covered in white. Fear-stricken citizens of Liberty and surrounding areas hurried to their local grocery stores for a few last-minute necessities. It becomes a dangerous world out there once word of a blizzard reaches the town's people. Your best friend will cut your throat for the last loaf of bread. It's survival of the fittest and only the strong survive.
Okay, maybe I've embellished a little. If we're lucky, we get one good snow day a year in the upstate. And our standards for a "good" snow day are relatively low, at that. If it comes in real snow form (not that trickery that is sleet) and sticks long enough for us to take a picture of our snowmen for facebook, we're happy...ecstatic, really. So maybe it isn't really "survival of the fittest," but our fear of being snowed in is very real. Oddly enough, so is our demand for bread and milk. So I guess it's more like "only the strong will get sandwiches and cereal tomorrow."
I can't explain why people do this. I have lived in the upstate my whole life, and I can honestly say that I do not remember a single time in my life that snow and ice ever kept anyone in town off of the roads for more than 2 days. I've decided that if I'm only going to be snowed in for a day or two, I want to have the good stuff. So while everyone else fights over the last gallon of 1 percent, I'll be over in the freezer aisle stocking up on cookie dough and Mr. P's pizzas. I'll get the last laugh when they're back to grab a bag of potato chips after the snow has turned to ice in the morning--which always happens, without fail.
I digress...
This morning, I had to brave the aftermath of the storm and venture onto the "black ice" that covered the roads. I knew the dangers, but I had an obligation to tend to at work. Several other cars were on the road, so I decided that they'd probably caused a lot of the ice to melt. I was just going to drive slow.
As I was coasting at a steady 15 mph down Clemson Boulevard (that's no joke--I'm a chicken!), I hit a thick patch of ice that bumped me into the left lane. Fortunately, there were no cars next to me, and I was able to safely regain control of my car. At that point, I realized that the highway wasn't a safe place to be, even if I was going slow. It was too late though. I was 10 miles from home and 10 miles from work. There didn't seem to be much point in turning back then.
It ended up taking me an hour and a half to make a 30 minute trip to work (I told you I was a chicken!), so I had a lot of time to do some thinking along the way. My hands were trembling, and my heart would start racing every time I went over a patch of ice that caused my car to slide slightly to one side or the other. I noticed ditches and fields and huge trees that I had never even noticed before. I've probably made that ride a thousand times, but I never felt threatened by it until today. Each time I made it over a bridge or past a shaded spot, I'd let out a sigh of relief.
God gives me another shot at life with each day He allows me to remain on this earth. I'm not going to say that I almost died today, but the fear of having my life threatened made me appreciate the simple things that I forget to appreciate on a regular basis. I don't thank God every single time I arrive safely to my destination, but I certainly did today. That's something I should do more. I should just be excited to be alive.
While I was driving, my thoughts got kind of deep. It occurred to me that this could be the last time I ever drive a car. God already has a plan for me. What if I had been in an accident? Maybe I'd even survive, but with some handicap. So many thoughts were running through my mind. I thought about all of the things I want to do with my life. I sort of mentally noted that if God let me make it to work and home safely today, He still had a purpose for me here. I made it home today, so I know I still have a purpose here.
It's such an exciting feeling, anticipating God's will for me! A few good things are creeping up on me already. I was reminded of some things I can do for myself too. It seemed to be God's way of saying "Help Me help you."
So...basically, I want to thank God for life, for another chance. Also, thank God for keeping my family safe today, since I love them more than my own life. Last, but not least, thank God for the joy that came with Snow Day 2010. Watching my dog frolic in the snow made me laugh harder than I have in a while, and seeing everything covered in white, if only for a day, was absolutely beautiful!
P.S. Trivial fact: Yesterday, it snowed in every single state in the U.S. for the first time in recorded history. (This fact is courtesy of my roomie, so don't hold me to it!)
The flurries started here around lunch time yesterday, and by 5, the ground was covered in white. Fear-stricken citizens of Liberty and surrounding areas hurried to their local grocery stores for a few last-minute necessities. It becomes a dangerous world out there once word of a blizzard reaches the town's people. Your best friend will cut your throat for the last loaf of bread. It's survival of the fittest and only the strong survive.
Okay, maybe I've embellished a little. If we're lucky, we get one good snow day a year in the upstate. And our standards for a "good" snow day are relatively low, at that. If it comes in real snow form (not that trickery that is sleet) and sticks long enough for us to take a picture of our snowmen for facebook, we're happy...ecstatic, really. So maybe it isn't really "survival of the fittest," but our fear of being snowed in is very real. Oddly enough, so is our demand for bread and milk. So I guess it's more like "only the strong will get sandwiches and cereal tomorrow."
I can't explain why people do this. I have lived in the upstate my whole life, and I can honestly say that I do not remember a single time in my life that snow and ice ever kept anyone in town off of the roads for more than 2 days. I've decided that if I'm only going to be snowed in for a day or two, I want to have the good stuff. So while everyone else fights over the last gallon of 1 percent, I'll be over in the freezer aisle stocking up on cookie dough and Mr. P's pizzas. I'll get the last laugh when they're back to grab a bag of potato chips after the snow has turned to ice in the morning--which always happens, without fail.
I digress...
This morning, I had to brave the aftermath of the storm and venture onto the "black ice" that covered the roads. I knew the dangers, but I had an obligation to tend to at work. Several other cars were on the road, so I decided that they'd probably caused a lot of the ice to melt. I was just going to drive slow.
As I was coasting at a steady 15 mph down Clemson Boulevard (that's no joke--I'm a chicken!), I hit a thick patch of ice that bumped me into the left lane. Fortunately, there were no cars next to me, and I was able to safely regain control of my car. At that point, I realized that the highway wasn't a safe place to be, even if I was going slow. It was too late though. I was 10 miles from home and 10 miles from work. There didn't seem to be much point in turning back then.
It ended up taking me an hour and a half to make a 30 minute trip to work (I told you I was a chicken!), so I had a lot of time to do some thinking along the way. My hands were trembling, and my heart would start racing every time I went over a patch of ice that caused my car to slide slightly to one side or the other. I noticed ditches and fields and huge trees that I had never even noticed before. I've probably made that ride a thousand times, but I never felt threatened by it until today. Each time I made it over a bridge or past a shaded spot, I'd let out a sigh of relief.
God gives me another shot at life with each day He allows me to remain on this earth. I'm not going to say that I almost died today, but the fear of having my life threatened made me appreciate the simple things that I forget to appreciate on a regular basis. I don't thank God every single time I arrive safely to my destination, but I certainly did today. That's something I should do more. I should just be excited to be alive.
While I was driving, my thoughts got kind of deep. It occurred to me that this could be the last time I ever drive a car. God already has a plan for me. What if I had been in an accident? Maybe I'd even survive, but with some handicap. So many thoughts were running through my mind. I thought about all of the things I want to do with my life. I sort of mentally noted that if God let me make it to work and home safely today, He still had a purpose for me here. I made it home today, so I know I still have a purpose here.
It's such an exciting feeling, anticipating God's will for me! A few good things are creeping up on me already. I was reminded of some things I can do for myself too. It seemed to be God's way of saying "Help Me help you."
So...basically, I want to thank God for life, for another chance. Also, thank God for keeping my family safe today, since I love them more than my own life. Last, but not least, thank God for the joy that came with Snow Day 2010. Watching my dog frolic in the snow made me laugh harder than I have in a while, and seeing everything covered in white, if only for a day, was absolutely beautiful!
P.S. Trivial fact: Yesterday, it snowed in every single state in the U.S. for the first time in recorded history. (This fact is courtesy of my roomie, so don't hold me to it!)
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Changed for Good
Finally got to see "Wicked" tonight. What an amazing illustration of how easily we are misunderstood. I'll spare the details for the sake of those who haven't had an opportunity to see the show yet (which I highly recommend, by the way). I'll just say that I was shocked at how perfectly it reiterated some of the very thoughts that have been weighing heavily on my heart lately, particularly in regards to the mistreatment of others.
A few weeks ago, one of my co-workers told me that she was going to need some time off on short notice. I was annoyed with her for not being more responsible and considerate, and I made a few jabs at her, both directly and indirectly. I wanted it to be very clear that I was not happy about having to pick up her slack. She didn't acknowledge the comments, although I feel sure that she picked up on them. Several days later, I found out from another co-worker that the reason she needed to be off was because her 19-year-old brother had been involved in an unfortunate accident in which he lost his life, and she was partly responsible for making arrangements.
I don't know why she hadn't explained that to me in the first place, but it quickly changed things, needless to say. I have an 18-year-old brother of my own. He is one of my closest friends, and I cannot imagine life without him (or my sister, for that matter). It broke my heart to think of the pain she must be feeling. I called her into the office where I was working and personally apologized. She thankfully accepted and I could see tears welling up as she told me how much she missed him. My heart ached for her as I tried to imagine going on with my life after losing a close family member. A genuine, hopeful smile spread across her face as she said "I know it'll all be okay though on that day when we see eachother again."
It made my problems seem so small. Had I known what was going on in her life from the beginning, I would have been able to handle the situation with the type of care and attention that it required. Suddenly, I felt like the inconsiderate one.
It got me thinking...how many other times had I been rude to people who didn't need or deserve it? After all, I've copped an attitude with a lot of people. A lot. Working at a grocery store, I was always angry with the people who were receiving food benefits (that's an issue to be addressed a different day). Working with children, I'm always angry with irresponsible parents. Writing for a magazine, I'm always frustrated with editors with impossible deadlines. What if one of those people has been going through some life crisis? What kind of image of Christ am I creating for these people? I am labeling myself as a Christian, and I am kicking them when they're down. This is not how Christ told us to treat our neighbors.
We all have bad days once in a while. Fortunately, all of the bad things that have happened to me have been relatively minor. I'm lucky. Still, when I'm stressed about getting my bills paid or I'm frustrated because I've gained weight or I'm tired because I was up all night with a virus, the last thing I want is someone calling me a screw-up. That's when I want to be "babied" the most. That's when I need someone to offer me a hand, to show me Christ-like love.
I'm beginning to have trouble keeping my eyes open, so I'll stop here for tonight. I had other points, but I'll save them for later. My goal for tomorrow: put others before myself.
A few weeks ago, one of my co-workers told me that she was going to need some time off on short notice. I was annoyed with her for not being more responsible and considerate, and I made a few jabs at her, both directly and indirectly. I wanted it to be very clear that I was not happy about having to pick up her slack. She didn't acknowledge the comments, although I feel sure that she picked up on them. Several days later, I found out from another co-worker that the reason she needed to be off was because her 19-year-old brother had been involved in an unfortunate accident in which he lost his life, and she was partly responsible for making arrangements.
I don't know why she hadn't explained that to me in the first place, but it quickly changed things, needless to say. I have an 18-year-old brother of my own. He is one of my closest friends, and I cannot imagine life without him (or my sister, for that matter). It broke my heart to think of the pain she must be feeling. I called her into the office where I was working and personally apologized. She thankfully accepted and I could see tears welling up as she told me how much she missed him. My heart ached for her as I tried to imagine going on with my life after losing a close family member. A genuine, hopeful smile spread across her face as she said "I know it'll all be okay though on that day when we see eachother again."
It made my problems seem so small. Had I known what was going on in her life from the beginning, I would have been able to handle the situation with the type of care and attention that it required. Suddenly, I felt like the inconsiderate one.
It got me thinking...how many other times had I been rude to people who didn't need or deserve it? After all, I've copped an attitude with a lot of people. A lot. Working at a grocery store, I was always angry with the people who were receiving food benefits (that's an issue to be addressed a different day). Working with children, I'm always angry with irresponsible parents. Writing for a magazine, I'm always frustrated with editors with impossible deadlines. What if one of those people has been going through some life crisis? What kind of image of Christ am I creating for these people? I am labeling myself as a Christian, and I am kicking them when they're down. This is not how Christ told us to treat our neighbors.
We all have bad days once in a while. Fortunately, all of the bad things that have happened to me have been relatively minor. I'm lucky. Still, when I'm stressed about getting my bills paid or I'm frustrated because I've gained weight or I'm tired because I was up all night with a virus, the last thing I want is someone calling me a screw-up. That's when I want to be "babied" the most. That's when I need someone to offer me a hand, to show me Christ-like love.
I'm beginning to have trouble keeping my eyes open, so I'll stop here for tonight. I had other points, but I'll save them for later. My goal for tomorrow: put others before myself.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Used
Christ placed his hand upon my cheek and smiled before He sent me down into the world. "She's going to be a a good one," he said of me with confidence. "This girl's a fighter. She's going to get things done." He armored me with a strong, willing heart and sent me to bare witness to His truth.
I'm not sure if that's what really happened, but I like to imagine that it went something like that. I like to think of myself as a star player that God was saving for the right moment. I like to think that on March 23, 1986, God called one of His star players onto the field. I like to think that on the day that I was born, I was exactly what the world needed.
But what did I have to offer the world? Why did God choose me that day?
24 years later, I am still trying to figure it out. So far, these are the only clues I have about who God wants me to become:
1. He gave me a burning passion for writing and expression.
2. I like to be in charge.
3. I like to entertain.
4. I seem to have a niche for making people laugh.
5. I'm a dreamer.
6. I can make a pretty good case for anything when I feel like debating.
7. I like to be challenged in abstract ways (for example, being challenged to inspire)
8. I am a hopeless romantic who still believes that true love does exist and can last forever.
9. I have an opinion. On everything.
...all of the above is kind of why I am blogging now. I'm pretty sure God wants me to say something, most likely in writing. Why else would He bless me with a love for writing, expression, entertaining, and debating? There are so many things that I want to say, but I am still not sure what it is that He needs the world to hear through me. I'm just putting everything out there in hopes that somebody will filter out the useless stuff in my blogs and get the meaning from the rest. I'm assuming that I'll only have a handful of followers on this blog (consisting primarily of my parents, siblings, and a few dedicated friends), and that's fine with me. If what God's trying to say through me ends up on this blog, I know He'll lead the right reader to its content.
I never want the writing on this page to become self-serving. In fact, I should go ahead and add this disclaimer: none of what I say belongs to me. It all belongs to God. Every genuine thought, idea, or emotion I express was given to me by Him only so that I might share it with others. I'm only a vehicle for His word.
Don't be misled by the blogsite title ("Pieces of Me"). This isn't about me. It's about the pieces of me that God chose. It's about finding out how I can serve God by serving others. Because my heart is naturally full of wickedness, I know there will be times when I allow myself to say too much and God to say too little. Do me a favor--humble me on the days that I weigh too heavily on my own opinion indendently from God's. Remind me that it's not about me.
My prayer as I begin this blog is that I will be used. Whatever it is that He wants me to say, I pray that God will let it flow from my heart. Whoever God sent me here to reach, I pray that I will reach them. I pray that more people will challenge themselves to discover His will for their lives.
May you be used every day of your life :P
I'm not sure if that's what really happened, but I like to imagine that it went something like that. I like to think of myself as a star player that God was saving for the right moment. I like to think that on March 23, 1986, God called one of His star players onto the field. I like to think that on the day that I was born, I was exactly what the world needed.
But what did I have to offer the world? Why did God choose me that day?
24 years later, I am still trying to figure it out. So far, these are the only clues I have about who God wants me to become:
1. He gave me a burning passion for writing and expression.
2. I like to be in charge.
3. I like to entertain.
4. I seem to have a niche for making people laugh.
5. I'm a dreamer.
6. I can make a pretty good case for anything when I feel like debating.
7. I like to be challenged in abstract ways (for example, being challenged to inspire)
8. I am a hopeless romantic who still believes that true love does exist and can last forever.
9. I have an opinion. On everything.
...all of the above is kind of why I am blogging now. I'm pretty sure God wants me to say something, most likely in writing. Why else would He bless me with a love for writing, expression, entertaining, and debating? There are so many things that I want to say, but I am still not sure what it is that He needs the world to hear through me. I'm just putting everything out there in hopes that somebody will filter out the useless stuff in my blogs and get the meaning from the rest. I'm assuming that I'll only have a handful of followers on this blog (consisting primarily of my parents, siblings, and a few dedicated friends), and that's fine with me. If what God's trying to say through me ends up on this blog, I know He'll lead the right reader to its content.
I never want the writing on this page to become self-serving. In fact, I should go ahead and add this disclaimer: none of what I say belongs to me. It all belongs to God. Every genuine thought, idea, or emotion I express was given to me by Him only so that I might share it with others. I'm only a vehicle for His word.
Don't be misled by the blogsite title ("Pieces of Me"). This isn't about me. It's about the pieces of me that God chose. It's about finding out how I can serve God by serving others. Because my heart is naturally full of wickedness, I know there will be times when I allow myself to say too much and God to say too little. Do me a favor--humble me on the days that I weigh too heavily on my own opinion indendently from God's. Remind me that it's not about me.
My prayer as I begin this blog is that I will be used. Whatever it is that He wants me to say, I pray that God will let it flow from my heart. Whoever God sent me here to reach, I pray that I will reach them. I pray that more people will challenge themselves to discover His will for their lives.
May you be used every day of your life :P
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